I'M BACK!!!

WOW!!! It feels like forever since I have been able to communicate with my family and friends! I miss talking with so many of you this last week and a half. I literally was kicked off my butt with my first treatment of F.E.C. I know my awesome hubby has kept you up to date with what has gone on and I want to thank each one of you for your prayers through my first treatment. I know that those prayers are literally what helped me to survive!! Many of you have called to ask me how I am feeling and there is nothing I can describe to you that would even come close. It was truly in every sense of the word a "living hell". Yesterday and today I am finally coming out of what I call a "zombie funk". I feel like my brain is back in my head. I don't remember much of anything last week. Matter of fact, I saw our big cleaning bucket out in the bathroom the other day (and I know we haven't cleaned in awhile ) so I asked Mark why it was out. He told me for the first 3 days following treatment I was telling him how nauseated I was. I guess that's a good thing to forget :) I think the worst part about the whole thing is all the drugs together gave me insomnia and I didn't sleep for 3 days straight. Those nights were torturous because I had too much time to think. But here's the big BUT - God and I came face to face! There has never been a time in my life where I had cried out to God for his help, questioned Him, fought with Him, wrestled with Him like I did those 3 nights. I can now look back and Praise Him because He carried me, He gave me His strength to just continue to want to live, He helped me pass the minutes and hours of the night as we talked - He was there for me the whole time! He is even now giving me the strength to be able to say that I can and will do this 3 more times. He has proven once again that He is a faithful God and has an incredible plan for my life to give HIm glory! I can't wait to share my story with the world after this is done! I told Mark I think I may write a book and title it " I Climbed God's Mountain... and Made It To the Top! It really feels like a mountain was placed before me on May 18th. A mountain so big that when you looked up all you could see is still mountain stretching to Heaven and to each side no end. All you can do is go up and last week the mountain was completely flat with no footings. All I had was my God to carry me up and that's why I know He is real and alive just for the very fact that I am living and breathing today! Please pray for my spirit. I have been very fearful of this process lately. I need Jesus to "pump me up". My dad had his bi-pass surgery and is of course in a great deal of pain. Please pray for God's great grace and mercy on him and quick healing. I love you all!

Dana